How are you going to crush it in 2021? Maybe you aren’t. Good for you. It’s a little odd to me the idea of planning to crush it this year.
We’re still in a global pandemic, after all. But also listen: lots of us have like major (like major payjor) issues stemming from what’s happened.
And you might carry those issues with you and it might affect your life in ways you don’t want.
So here’s an idea for crushing it — figure out a plan to deal with those issues first. (You might need to figure out what they are).
Then you can make your 2021-crushing-it goals from a place of clarity, instead of one that’s just overlaying unaddressed fear and angst from the events of the past year.
In other words, then the energy you bring to that endeavor will be one of clarity and love rather than of the energy of trying to forcibly put something behind you that you can’t easily put behind you at all.
Why is this important?(Or, important to me, which is a caveat I’m making now that I realize how many people [mostly men but also some select, very special women] get really triggered whenever a woman has strong opinions.)
It’s important because energy is everything. Which is what I want to talk about today.
Yes, friends, it’s still woo-woo as fuck around here.
Think about a time someone said something to you that hurt. Chances are, it wasn’t something that was obviously hurtful (e.g., you’re an asshole). Chances are, it was something that just made you FEEL bad, even if it was objectively a neutral statement.
This is because: the sentiment behind someone’s words or actions can always be felt no matter how neutral they seem.
I’m going to repeat that: the sentiment behind your words or actions can always be felt no matter how neutral they seem.
You can dress up what you say, you can add an exclamation point and a smiley face, you can keep it as neutral or “professional” as possible.
But if you say “I hope you have a nice day” and you actually mean “go to hell,” that energy will be felt. No. matter. What. (Which is not to say we should go around telling people to go to hell. The point is that we should be aware of what we really mean, because we can’t hide it.)
Where will it be felt? In the person’s body. Their body will respond to your true meaning, even if their mind sees no problem with the words.
We often wring hands over language and words. Trust me, I am someone that loves language and words. But words can be a poor barometer of feeling sometimes and they can be an incomplete way to convey meaning.
This is why, to me, it’s strange that, in “professional” spaces, we labor over crafting the perfect, professional sounding email or message. No matter what words appear in the message — (i.e., no matter what pixel-formed shapes appear on the screen), the sentiment behind the words can always be felt.
If you feel angry toward someone, or hostile or disgusted — they’ll know. They might not know that they know, but they’ll know.
And if they know that they know — then your perfectly crafted email was in vain. I’m telling you — it was. You’ve lost. Try again. You’re not a professional just because you think you sound like one. You’re not a professional if really all you want to do is take a club to someone’s head and it shows.
So look, the upshot, the takeaway. Your energy is everything. Fix that and then you won’t have to spend so much time picking and choosing the right words to hide what you really mean. You can’t hide what you really mean. You can’t hide your energy. It’s everything. Your words are just window dressing.
On today, in this essay I’ve written that is actually two essays in one, I think we ought to get clear on ourselves and our ways, so what we’re putting out there is what we’d actually like it to be. So that the ways we are felt, are truly what we might want them to be.
Free yourself from yourself. Then you’ll get where you’d like to be.
Michele writes on several topics, including career and mental health. For more writings, ideas, and inspiration, check out her Patreon page here.
